This morning welcomed the announcement of the new cast/contestants of the seventh season of Dancing with the Stars.  Unlike earlier seasons, I’ve actually heard of all these people. Well…sort of, but we’ll get to that in a moment.

Let’s run them, and their partners, down one by one and I’ll make blind calls about how far I think they’ll go:

Lance Bass - I’ve always had a soft spot for Lance. I like him exponentially more now that he’s out of the closet (he seems so much more…at ease). Season 3 So You Think You Can Dance finalist (and sister of Season 2 winner) Lacey Schwimmer is making her first appearance as a pro. Here’s the problem – Lance wasn’t the best dancer in N’SYNC. But then again, Drew Lachey wasn’t really good either and he won. Between both of their popularity, he’ll make it at least half way through the season.

Toni Braxton – She’s done some Broadway shows so we know she can move. I’ve never seen her dance but I know she’ll look great in the costumes. She’s paired with Season 1 professional champ Alex Mazo. I’m thinking she’ll make it about half way too.

Brooke Burke – I’ve never been a big fan, though her hosting has improved leaps and bounds from when she first started on Wild On! Despite being paired with Derek Hough, if she dances like she used to read a teleprompter I’m calling an early exit on her.

Rocco Dispirito – A member of the Celebrity Chef sect, Rocco had a reality show that lasted about 5 minutes but has done well with the books he’s written. Karina Smirnoff will be his partner. I have no idea if he can dance but for her sake he better be able to move a little or she’ll be facing an early exit.

Maurice Greene – World class sprinter and Olympic medalist (and, until recently, the “World’s Fastest Man”), Maurice will be dancing with Cheryl Burke. Athletes tend to excel here – when they’re not impossibly tall, Clyde Drexler, or stupendously uncoordinated, Kenny Mayne – plus Cheryl is a masterful choreographer so I expect them to make it to the top half.

Kim Kardashian - Ah. Kim. You’re not really famous for anything positive but I give you props for 1) sort of trying and 2) at least being hot. That’s something a lot of girls in the same position can’t say. I have no idea if you can dance but you’re fortunate to be teamed with the reigning champ, Mark Ballas. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you’re the dark horse – you’ll be making it much farther into the competition than anyone thinks.

Cloris Leachman – It saddens me that most people don’t know who she is. She’s a freakin’ comedy legend. Um, hello? The Mary Tyler Moore Show? Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein? Anyhoo, she’ll be partnered with  Mark Ballas’ father, Corky (Corky?) who happens to be a World Latin Champion. Cloris will do very well I think. I predict top 6.

Cody Linley – So…this is the only person that actually made me say, “Who?” I don’t watch enough Hannah Montana with my niece to instinctively know this kid but, thanks to Google Images, I recognize him. He plays a ditzy TV actor who was all jerky until Hannah taught him to stop sucking. Julianne Hough returns this year to dance with him. Can you smell the cross promotion? This kid is also 50/50 – could go early, could stick around a while…

Susan Lucci - Oh…how I adore Susan Lucci. My mom watched the ABC soaps when I was growing up so my affection for her is deeply rooted. She’s partnered with Tony Dovolani. Get used to seeing her around. La Lucci is in it for a long haul.

Misty May-Treanor – Fresh off a gold medal performance in Beijing, Misty trades in the beach and vollyball nets for a buffed floor and that cringe-inducing house band. Maksim Chmerkovskiy is her pro. This could work out really well. I have no idea if she can dance but she could be another one of those dark horses. Or she’ll be the third one out.

Ted McGinley – He’s been in a whole lot of shows and movies, from Revenge of the Nerds to Married With Children to Major League to Hope & Faith, for a little while in the 80′s he was the Patron Saint of Soon To Be Cancelled TV Shows. But not anymore. Ted will be teamed with another first-season pro named Inna Brayer. I’m trying to think back to The Love Boat and/or Happy Day to see if he danced at all in there but I can’t recall. I’m thinking he’ll be hovering in the middle of the pack…

Jeffrey Ross – He’s a comedian. While I think he’s very funny, I doubt he’ll be very good. Not even Edyta Sliwinska may have the power to keep him around very long.

Warren Sapp – Warren was a defensive tackle in the NFL. Poor Kym Johnson. Why do they keep giving her the tough ones? Barring some miracle, expect an early exit.

So, that’s it. There really isn’t anyone here who I see as a clear-cut front runner but my slightly irrational early favorites are Maurice, Lance, Susan and Toni.

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